TGC Tabs. Issue 1
reflections inspired by annotations
Hey Gems,
Welcome to TGC Tabs, this will be a continuous blog series where we create reflective prompts for us and you all to either think on/journal on/ do whatever you want to do with it. The prompts will be inspired by annotations from our quarter reads.
Last quarter we read, Mirrored Heavens, A Love Song for Ricki Wilde, and Butter Honey Pig Bread. For Mirrored Heavens, there is a live on IG where we get into a few themes and our thoughts on them, So this TGC Tab’s Issue will focus on annotations from A Love Song for Ricki Wilde and Butter Honey Pig Bread.
Butter Honey Pig Bread / Miyah’s Pick
Annotation
Over a quarter into Butter Honey Pig Bread, the author stating how much Kambirinachi was searching for softness, for tenderness within her mother struck me. As children, it’s easier (or should be easy) to find those soft places, but as an adult it becomes more of a challenge. I think we spend a big part of out lives searching for those soft places when hard moments become too frequent. - Miyah
Prompt:
What does it look like for you to carve out softness for yourself and those around you?
Miyah
I carve out softness by speaking kindly to myself especially in moments where I have faltered. I try to extend the same grace I easily give to others to myself, because the same way I believe they deserve it, I know I do too.
Life can be very unkind to us when we show up authentically, so I do my best to make sure that those around me know that they are allowed to fully be themselves. There is no need to keep up the rigors of performance in the presence of those we feel safe and seen with. If we should feel at rest anywhere in this world, it should be in our own company and in the company of those that carve out a space for us to do so.
GeGe
Carving out softness for myself comes down to radical acceptance and breathing. I like to take in the truth of what it is that I am seeing, thinking, and feeling and then I like to breathe to create room to carve out my clarity. Softness is always a cup of coffee to start my day and the love that I surround myself with throughout.
The way I like to hold myself accountable in giving softness to others is being a safe space the best I can so that my loved ones feel safe to let me know what it is that they need without fear of judgment. It of course also looks like checking in and being attentive, especially to speaking tones. When you’re in tune with the way your people speak, often times you can hear it in their tone and voice when something is off, even when they’re not ready or don’t have the words yet to say it.
Kab
Lately, or rather, the past few years, softness has been something I didn’t feel like I could be or touch or feel at times, to be quite honest. This year has taught me that there isn’t much choice though if I want to be healthy mentally and emotionally, especially in a world destined for Black women to continuously be “the strong friend”. I have been intentional in carving out softness for myself through providing more time for stillness. Grace has been impactful for me, as well. I recall falling out of love with me, my body, my life and not knowing how to get out of that funk. I find myself falling in and out it, like an ebb and flow. That’s okay, I realize. I’ve found it helpful to just be. Step outside. Take a dark shower. Sink my feet into some grass. Laugh with a loved one. Sit in solitude. Those have brought me clarity and peace when my mind runs rampant.
To be a giver in this world is oftentimes having the know-how on bringing softness to the aid of others. Honestly, I notice it’s a lot simpler to provide that space for others than it is for myself. It’s in my nature to be of service to the people I choose to love. Those moments can look like calling to check in when they pop in my head or a listening ear when I hear something in their voice that could use some care. I love to make my loved ones feel seen and heard. Softness, to me, is definitely being a place someone can land no matter the gravity of their trip. Free of judgement, malice, or defense. Filled with love, vulnerability, intention, and care.
A Love Song for Ricki Wilde/GeGe’s Pick
Annotation
One of my favorite elements in this story was the relationship that Ricki shared with her upstairs neighbor/landlord/adopted grandmother, Ms. Delilah. As Ms. Delilah reflects on the love that she shared with her deceased husband, she compared it to listening to an album all the way through, which I thought was spot on. It instantly made my heart smile and I had this nostalgic moment thinking back on all the albums I came across that I just couldn’t get enough and would listen to with little to no skips. - GeGe
Prompt (Visual)
What are some of your favorite albums that you could listen to on repeat with little to no skips?
GeGe
Kab
Miyah
Well, that’s all for now gems. We hope y’all enjoyed the first TGC Tab’s. Please feel free to answer the prompts below, we would love to hear from y’all as well!